Twice in the last couple of weeks, people I have regular contact with, both in real life and social media, have learned about my Las Vegas wedding plans having not known the details of them previously. Similarly, when out for drinks not long ago, a friend I hadn’t seen in a while asked me if I had any news, and I had to be prompted to mention that our flights and ceremony were booked. In a funny way, I feel pretty proud of these facts, as it certainly suggests that my intention not to let wedding planning take over my life is on track. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware that if we’re in very regular contact, then maybe this intention isn’t quite so obvious, and similarly I’m very conscious that I’m blogging about it now, but everyone has a limit, right?
One of the major reasons for this is that, as exciting as a wedding, a honeymoon and a big party are, the decision to get married was, for Dan and I, about wanting to commit to spending the rest of our lives together. The snowballing excitement that comes with wedding planning can make it so easy to lose sight of this, running the risk of the relationship playing second fiddle to The Big Day. I’m very conscious of the need to always work on a relationship, and the average couple of years it takes to put a wedding together is plenty of time to damage even the strongest of couples. Keeping cool about the wedding = giving the preparation for marriage the focus it deserves.
Another major factor is our desire to do this wedding our way. The old adage about too many cooks is probably at its truest when there are nuptials involved. As soon as we got engaged nearly a year ago, and I started to talk about my desire to keep things relaxed, the ‘friendly’ advice started coming in thick and fast. I use the inverted commas there because although well-intentioned, each nugget of wisdom caused a marginal increase in my blood pressure, exactly what I was so keen to avoid. If I regulate the amount of time I spend talking about the wedding, then I am consciously reducing the opportunities for people to try and put their two pence in. Very simply, it’s rare for someone to try and crowbar in a bit of advice when the conversation hasn’t gone near the topic in hand.
Finally, and probably most simply of all, I am desperate not to become a bore about this. And please, don’t take that as a criticism levelled specifically at brides (and grooms) to-be. For starters, the wedding industry needs people to keep talking and talking and planning and planning in order to make money, and they know exactly how to push our buttons to whip us into a frenzy over the whole thing. Before long, you start to live and breathe your wedding like one big, long advertisement for the industry, and their work is done. And unfortunately, it gets boring. But at the same time, anyone with a specific hobby, interest, job or grudge can become a bit of a bore if that’s all they talk about, so really, if you’re excited about your wedding and you want to talk about it all the time, that is cool by me. It’s just not how I’m choosing to operate.
There’s seven and a half months to go until the big day. Will this resolve last? Or will my inner Bridezilla (who is definitely there, I can tell) just have to bust out sooner or later? You guys will help me keep her locked up, right?